Another Month Skipped

Yes, I've done it again.  I skipped the entire month of June, 2011, which was a wonderful month in my life.

Our oldest grandchild flew here and together the three of us took 3 wonderful days in the car to arrive at our destination of Duck, NC.  On the way, we were blessed to visit Shiloh, Andrew Jackson's home, The Hermitage, and The Great Smokey Mountains.  All of those spots where I had previously been had changed.  In the Great Smokey Mt's. we enjoyed two wonderful hikes, which I pray that I never forget.The beauty of the cool waterfalls after an upward hike, the view from the vantage site that was a quarter of a mile up, but seemed like 2 miles, and the butterflies that swarmed about a bubbling brook alongside the road are beautiful memories.

Once at Duck, we were very pleased with the location and the condition of the home that we had rented for a week.  It was 3 stories, looked out the sound on one side and was a very short walk to the ocean on the other.  It had 6 bedrooms with 5.5 baths.  The children enjoyed the hot tub (yep, they loved it!), the swimming pool, games available, and just being with each other.

There were several little side trips to the Wright Brothers' museum and site where they first flew, the largest dune in the US, and 3 lighthouses. 

The adults played almost nightly games of corn throw with the bean bags and boards that Uncle Cecil ordered in his favorite West Virginia colors.

And one night, the six parents even trusted Granddad, Emily, and me with the 4 younger children and went out for a nice dinner at the Sunset Restaurant looking over the sound.  I am sorry that I missed that, because the adults all said that it was just beautiful.

We are already underway making plans for next year, but several of them have voted to have it HERE!!!  Granddad is all over that and has found a house to rent here that will sleep 12.  We had 14 at the beach, because precious Aunt Claudia joined us. She was quite a hit with the grandchildren!  The adults like her, too. ; -)

Now we are up to July, and the adult cousins from Texas, Dee and Evy, came for three days last week.  We all appeared to have a blast.  BC continued to get his regular daily golf in, while we also toured the Village, visited the Arboretum in Hot Springs, and took a pontoon boat out for a tour and swim.

Hopefully few people have read this far, so now down to what has prompted me to write. 

I had an incident that happened to me on Saturday that has tossed me into a mild depression.  I am aware of the cause, my own insecurities, and the fact that the "cause" was and is not about me.  But it still hurts.

What goes on in my crazy mind when I get wounded by an outside event is that I dig out old baggage.  And I am back to wondering if I have any true friends.  I wonder if people really like me.  My gut feeling is that if I were back in elementary school and getting ready to play softball or whatever, I would be the last one chosen.  I know that it is crazy thinking, but it plays out  beautifully in my depressed state of mind.

So I'm using my energy to fight off the evils of the depression, work on keeping my mouth shut (not easy for anyone who knows me), and watch the words that come out of it.

And to make matters worse, I have extended myself beyond what I can possibly accomplish.  While I might be last to be chosen for a "team" sport (and the good Lord knows that I am not at all athletic), I am one of the first to get asked to volunteer.  And I am still struggling to say those words, "No, I am over extended."

What happens here in the Village is that things are done on a monthly basis.  So while I may "only" do volunteering once a month, when you start adding up all of the activities, they really mount up.  And the last one I took on, also related to a church function, although not my own, is so involved that I am totally in over my head.

It is such a relief to put all of those thoughts and words down in black and white.  It is like a cathartic cleansing.

So now I am off to purchase glue so that I can finish the "Welcome" packets for Morning Connection, purchase a birthday card, and get a couple of items at the grocery store.

When I return home, I will finish folding and putting the packets together, quit worrying that I don't have enough hostesses for tomorrow's brunch, clean up all of the supplies for Morning Connection in my husband's office, tidy the house, and begin preparation on dinner tonight for Breaking Bread.

God, you know where I am in my journey.  You know my inner heart, my yearnings to be accepted and loved.  You know that I would never intentionally hurt another, but yet those words that come from my lips often are not taken as I mean them to be.  Only you, the Master Healer, can heal my wounds.  I also pray today for my dear sweet friend from Newcomer's Bible Study, Barb, who I found out when I called her to see if she could host tomorrow, told me that she is on her way to the hospital after this morning's test proved that she has (acute?) appendicitis.  Thank you for hearing these prayers.  Amen.